In a world where you are lost in translation 95% of the time, it’s sometimes nice to know people understand you. Or at least, what you are trying to say. My mention of beef curtains at the dinner table or the text I sent in Portuguese asking a friend of a friend if she was a book are just two good examples.
I was pleasantly surprised however, with the warm welcome from a young boy in the street, shouting at the top of his voice, ‘Welcome to Rio’. I thought ‘what a nice kid welcoming the pasty gringa to his city in our native tongue’. Then the thought evaporated, fast, as his mate followed it with a massive ‘Fuck You’. Ying and yang is big in this city and you kind of get used to it.
One moment your 100 miles high, dancing in a Samba school with enough energy to power a Double Decker Bus, then the next your inhaling human shit, watching a transvestite shave his legs out of his bedroom window. I can’t complain though as everyday is like an unfolding circus and you never know what will happen next, its just unfortunate I am still trying to sort out my footwear. My last attempt was unsuccessful and all I came home with was a Japan Midi mobile that flashes an acid house face every time I try to save a number. Have to say I was pretty impressed.
My sleeping is becoming strained here. I can’t work out if it’s the change of diet, change of scenery or just sheer lack of comfort. It’s been a while since I have inhabited a bunk bed and the other night I could of sworn it was more than just me about to take a kip. By the light of my computer I saw the crevice of someone’s bottom sat directly between my legs and became paralysed by the weight of someone or something for a good 5 minutes. Once the panic attack was over I proceeded to locate every crystal I could find that might protect me from things that go bump in the night and clutch them tight to my sweaty moz bitten body. It was a rough night I can tell you.
Apart from that I am half way to paradise. That is if you consider spitting nuns and lady boy prostitutes in g strings heaven.
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